Cocky.

Assalamualaikum,

Exam session has started. I don't know if i actually care a great deal about it... but i do have these thoughts of having to finish everything only few hours before each of them begins. it daunts me, really. And yesterday's HUBS paper was not bad at all, Alhamdulillah. I totally over-reacted i think... but cool, atleast it contributed alot with the last-minute preparation. lol.

On a side note, we all received our english test result yesterday. Most of the others passed and I failed mine. Haha... you cannot belieeevee how depressing it was to hear such news, considering the fact I had never failed in the subject my whoooole life. My friends were saying how the inviligators had already warned about hand-writings and all...

The truth is, I under-estimated the paper when I sat inside the hall prior to the exam. Heck, none of us knew how the paper would be like anyway so I was almost sure that it would be as easy as shopping but then came the paper and after few moments of day-dreaming... I looked around and realised that everyone's heads were already into the papers. I straight away started mine ... and I took my time for a while until I realised that there was a time limit ... 10 minutes for answering a comprehension based on a page long of texts! and so on for the rest!

And from then till the end, I answered every questions... but with the crappiest handwriting I could ever own. To begin with, I already have the "most" cursive writing that only few people can comprehend. Even a lot of teachers had to come to me and ask what on earth my writing actually meant. Some even adviced me to change it before the ALevel Exams... but the thing is.... it ain't that easy. I love my writing.. They're so darn easy for me to write and read (most of the time anyway). So I think they're fine........ I mean, if there wasn't any time limit going on "-__-

I learnt my lesson. Over-confidence can never lead you to any good. Being confidence is already enough. And like what had been taught by Islam, there's always a Hikmah behind every failure. And that gives no exception to mine. For failing the English Test, I am to join an English course for my next semester. having a little doubt of not dreading it, i am still pretty sure that this course will bring something good :)

However it will go, that ought to teach my cocky self some lessons atleast.

Love Life,

Love Everyone.

halal food

Assalamualaikum,

exams are just around the corner and here i am, blogging! well done jah! :DD .. aa come on, might as well just give myself a break. if you think about it... exams aren't reaaaally THAT much around the corner, it's still 5 days away which is equivalent to 120 hours which is basically round about 7000 minutes. and subtracting away my eye-shutting time + day dreaming, that would give me about 75 hours... and maybe if i subtract another 4 hours fr each day.. i'd get about 50 hours left to study HUBS and the others. oh....my...god... so it IS around the corner. now i'm panicking :(

what have i been doing for the past few days???? gaaah~ i can't really remember much but i know i have done a whole lot of day-dreaming. studies? i SERIOUSLY don't know. maybe it's because i'm on a break that makes my head to refuse giving answers on any questions regarding so. therefore, must stop bringing up about studies!

my friends and i have been doubtful of the food served in our college. i have been wondering for the past few months: what exactly is their definition of 'halal'? them being the kiwis.

my guess is that according to them, halal is defined as religiously acceptable ingredients including meats that are legally done by muslim butchers. that would be the general view of what halal really is. but in reality, there is more context to such restriction. halal isn't just about ingredients! halal is also about the food that may have come in contact with non-halal ones.

for example, what cooking utensils have they been using to cook for our halal food? yes, when we put our roast chicken on our plates, there were also pork and other non-halal food next to these chickens and yes, it's clearly obvious that they were in no contact whatsoever.

but think about the backstage: how were these meats cooked? did they use the same pan when they cooked pork the next time they use it for chicken?

it is a must that once our utensils have come in contact with a non-halal meat, we must rinse it away with soil and water. and i doubt that the kitchen staff have actually been doing this. my friend also had doubts about the dishes we have been using. they have also come in contact by students who have been eating pork and what not... and did they actually wash it with soil after that? i doubt that.

hence, i've been trying to stay away from the food served but there were times when i try to rid of my suspicions by going down and eat to relief my hunger. Astaghfirullah. later then, i would feel bad about myself. ofcourse lately, i've been using my own container/bowl and will try to do it everytime insyaAllah. Somehow, I'm just disgusted every time I think more and more of it.

Maybe I should stop stalling about making an appointment with Dr. Brunton. As a group, we have planned to go see him and express our doubts of the food and being our care-taker, i'm pretty sure he would help us deal with it as he had promised us with anything.

Saying stuff doesn't really help much, Jah. Action does. So A, stop stalling! B, stop feeling bad about yourself and complain complain complain! C, it would only make a difference if you start acting!!!!

ALRIGHTOOO~ and will, I shall !!!! :D InsyaAllah

back to study.... if i'm not tired............................ or bored of it.

Love Life,

Love Everyone!

Updating slightly

the clock says 10:04pm.... and still wide awake. i've been trying to sleep for the past 30 minutes but failed to do so due to noise pollution. but oh well... tomorrow is the last day of lectures and today, most of them have already ceased anyway. hence, the celebration going on. gahh~

Anywayss, I have to say.... the most saddest "farewell" lecture (even though 60% of it still comprised of examinable materials) just had to be CELS 191. Its been fun to get to know an interesting lecturer, John T. (who prefers to be called as John Dot due to a rather funny reason) who had taught us for only a week or so. His ways of teaching were so unique and eye-catching that it is impossible for him to NOT understand how short a human being's attention span can be. And for that, I NEVER slept in his classes... at all. And THAT, in Faezah's world, is considered AMAZING. Haha, seriously, It would have been a waste to do so and miss all his acts! As amazing as he sounds, he also discovered a type of bacteria (the good one) that lives in our mouth that can neutralise any pathogens trying to replicate in there and now, they are selling these bacteria in store to protect children especially from getting sick so easily! Amazing ey???

He also believes in BLIS and thus, he is also called as the BLIS Man. BLIS is a belief of, basically, staying away from any micro-organisms BEFORE getting sick and NOT acting only after when you are invaded by them. I have to say, I think I have been subconciously inspired by the BLIS, proven my extra-carefulness and fear in making any contact with these microbes.

Hence, I find him so cool even though I JUST knew him... that... I became emotional when we all learnt today was his last day and that we were in his last lecture at Otago... after 30 years of lecturing. And at the end of the lecture, it was rare to hear the people cheering that remained more than usual :) .. Definitely gonna miss such a great inspirational old man. Can he be my grandpa, please! :P

And that said, I managed to get his autographs!! :DD which were basically just the stamps of his discovered bacteria that he gave at the end. HEE :D I tell ya, I thought the crowd was about to swallow me when I fought for it. And yea, I also squeaked out a tiny "Thank you very much for everything". Tiny 'cause the crowd totally dissolved my voice and ok fine, I didn't have the guts to actually raise my voice to a celebrity/an elderly man. :P

Oooh, interesting as well how Dr. Frank G. was also spotted sitting at the back of the lecture. He is also another elderly wise lecturer whom I adore to have as a grandpa. A co-incidence how they both have been here for 30 years and I am almost sure that they are good friends and that he was there to support his friend in his last lecture :) .. I love them two :))

Okay, lectures done... except for chem and physics lab tomorrow night. despite those two.... i welcome you, the two weeks... of exam fever..

SEMANGAT! :D

Love Life,
Love Everyone!

Busy Day

Assalamualaikum,

How are we all today? I just came from the surau, praying Asar. Had quite a long day and was just of a HUBS lab session which I, for once, truly enjoy. My lab partner isn't crappy like how it had been for the past few months and I finally had the guts to move over to my friends' table. So yeah, it was awesooome! And one of the teaching fellows were shaking her head against me & jaqy for being "naughty children" as she called us? And she just had to emphasise on a sarcasm of "yes... you're very mature... much more mature than any of the post-graduate students" against me when I claimed that I was "a mature girl". Hahaha, it was hillarious.

I have another lab in 5-10 mintues. A very busy busy day indeed. And I'm breaking my fast in 10 minutes as well. So yay! Happy happy! And got my HUBS results today which was a satisfactory but at least I get to finally target my marks for all subjects in the upcoming finals. Aja aja HUATING!

Love Life,
Love Everyone.

ps. I know i'm writing in a rush (5 minutes) but I am really that desperate to spend a wee time blogging. really, it prevents my head from bursting all over.

Weekend here!

Assalamualaikum.

Aaaaahhh~ it's so nice to be finally relaxing on a Sunday morning ;) . The week had come to its busy end (what with practicals, studies and lectures) and I can finally forget (for a while) about HUBS ! We had it in the morning yesterday and I found the paper to have been "okay" . I really can't comment much about it but I am pretty sure its result will not be a 100% :P ehehe but really, it was okay Alhamdulillah, considering the fact that I didn't have much time to study it last week. Aside that, I was the last one to be out of the St.Davids theatre because I failed to leave my answer sheet un-vandalised. huhu. lol so i was told to stay behind and erase it all out. Atleast the inviligators cared that much :)

When I left the building, I spotted a lot of people in their graduation outfits taking pictures with their proud family infront of the clock tower. And on my way running back home then, I managed to see a bruneian family with a Tudung girl in her baju kurung (under her graduation outfit) having their pictures taken. I slowed my pace to look at them and the guy next to her, whom I realised was holding some flowers, then waved his hand at my direction.

I was a bit confused as to who he was waving at and realised, after so much of hand communication, that it was me! Haha.. and when i went to them, it turned out to be Mujib, my very very old senior (in his 7th year). He was there to accompany her friend's (the tudung girl) graduation. I talked to the mother for a while and after happily interacting with bruneian people, I ran again to where my friends were.

After having lunch at cumby (which was only pie & salad) and sembahyang Zuhur, we headed off to the PHP Fair. And on our way, we managed to watch the graduation ceremony! And in Otago, the graduation ceremony is considered very special as the people march around the town with their respective families, like some sort of parade.

And in an instance, everyone even passer bys would know of their efforts in completing their uni years. And I think that's awesome. And it really was touching to seem them walking with everyone cheering and congratulating them from the side streets. I was close to tears ;) The bruneian family was there and I waved at them and they smiled back. Lol, congratulations to that girl whom I think is named as Syazwani.

We continued then to our main destination, PHP Fair. And it was alot of fun :D .. Had brownies which I tapau-ed to eat with McD Sundae (later that afternoon) , had Elmo drawn on my face and played a lot of games :D fun fun fun. a lot of seniors were there but didn't interact much with 'em. When shopping for clothes then and spent $35. finally got to buy a warm long-sleeved outfit. i just need to have a rain-jacket next. but ooo it costs so much $________$ . $70 to be precised. so have to seeee first.

So yeah, yesterday finally get to have some breaks and as for today? I don't know. So far, it's only been breakfast and blog. lol may just as well stay home and rest today. watch movie maybe? i don't know. huhu. if i'm in brunei, i would be taking my time bullying my nieces at such boring moment :'( ..

and oh yeah, i woke up from a nightmare (not sure, really) but it made me cry until my eyes are all swollen up. chat me up if you wish to know :)) !

Love Life, Love Everyone!

Salam.

Who am I?

The question has been hitting me for the past 2-3 months. Being around my friends 24 hours just makes me lose my identity at times. There is just so much underneath that I can't seem to exert or if I had done so, I did it in a very idiotic manner. Who am I? I wanna know myself.

Few days ago, Jack was telling me how along the path of our lives, there will be a time when we decide who we want to be and actually become that person in the end. For the past few weeks, his words had actually mirrored my thoughts. Currently, I don't think I am very much of a good person. Especially of the fact that my manners contradict my image. I want to be a humble, polite person who respects everyone and be respected in return. I want to have and improve myself of the right behaviour of a tudung girl as well as of faith in Islam and be seen like one.

I am working on it....

An example of how idiotic I can be is when I squeal from a pain that is of little and does not even reach a mild level. Since when do I do that? I hardly tell what bothers me unless it means so very little to me.

Like this: Truth is, I suffer every night and I don't think I ever squeal or even complain of that matter. My left hand, as everyone knows, is not functioning at its best. I have never told anyone this but every night, the pain comes and I would lay in my bed, waiting for it to leave as I try correcting its position. Most of the time, it leaves due to the fact that I have fallen asleep. The pain is bearable, atleast. However, there are a lot of times when I cannot stand it no matter how much I have adjusted to it. Ofcourse, being so far away from my family, complaining would not do as it would be terribly useless and would only enhance the panic within myself. I need to be strong about the pain and think of it as being normal..... however difficult that would be.

So this is something I keep to myself and it would be nice if no one talk to me about it. :)

Love life. Love everyone.

Recent stuff~

The silliest thing happened! I lost my phone card in a matter of 5 minutes >___< ! It actually happened a week ago but I just couldn’t be bothered with it since I thought that it might just have been in my room the whole time, dusting on the desk perhaps. The saddest thing is that it happened on the same day I recharged $5 on it :( .

Nevermind then :( . Life in Dunedin have been okay, maybe awesome. LOL, I can’t decide. We just had a performance last night during the Cumby Night Live. Jack had been persuading us to sing for it for days. In between of his persuasions did I finally realise he was being serious and only 3-4 days before the show did we agree to sing!

Atleast I thought i would be singing with the rest but instead, they assigned me to piano. I didn’t initially agree to it since I found the piano to be conquering Jack’s melodious guitar-playing. After everyone thought that it sounded awesome & after few rehearsals, I finally realised how nice it sounded! And there we were, excited for the show as our rehearsals ended with a great arrangement!

When the time had come for us to leave Cumby to the auditorium, Jack informed me of a bad news that there was no piano in the hall since it’s located at the foyer NEXT to it. And if I were to play, he said he would put a mic to it so that people can hear me play but would not be able to see me. To be honest, I was devastated. I mean, I really was expecting the show to have gone on as rehearsed! Everyone expected so! And to be playing in an empty room? I wouldn’t even know if I have an audience listening to me neither would I be able to keep up with the timing since I can’t hear them! Thus, I thought quitting was the best solution (which also led to a sad feeling after doing & working hard for the rehearsals)

Most of the girls said that they wouldn’t perform with the piano being played. So, Jack had an idea that he may just introduce me before the song and also promised that I would be able to hear them singing. After the whole introduce, he said he would let me sprint to the piano and that when the last verse of the song is sung out, I just sprint back on stage.

Without much choices in my hand, I agreed. At 7.30, the Cumby Night Live started and there were acts that amazed me. The others either disgusted me (SERIOUSLY) or was a bit boring. The rest of the girls were soooo nervous! I swear I should have taken a picture of them fidgeting! Haha.. And when ours were next, the girls got ready back-staged and I sat next to the foyer, prepared to leave for the piano. When Johnny introduced us UP girls, I headed off to the piano.

Jack then talked about us, how much he loved us and that we’re shy and scared to come out and he also put in extra energy just to mention “there is no alcohol in brunei” ! And when he told them to support us, I could hear them roaring. My name was not even said in that introdcution as I stood in the foyer, waiting... so I got confused and the worst part was the mic was not even on the piano yet! So I managed to call Jack on the stage asked about the mic and Johnny then accompanied me into the foyer. In fact, He held the mic throughout the whole song.

And then, Jack started strumming I’m Yours on his guitar. And when they started singing, it was the beginning for me as well. LOL, fasting forward throughout the song, I screwed up at one part (the usual part where I forgot to play the G chord “-__-) and when it was the last verse and the end for me to play, I was so scared to go outside but I had to join them. So I went out and clapped & sang with the rest, the crowd cheered and we ended the song NOT with “I’m Yours~”. Instead, we went “UP YOURSS!” with our “supposedly” middle-finger up in the air, shooting at the audience!

Ofcourse, none of us dared to give the actual middle finger. LOL, and that cracked up the whole audience and I could see Johnny’s face behind me, so stunned with his mouth opened! HAHAHA. The rest of the night, we watched more acts from the rest of the corridors and we were nominated as The Mysterious Award being the Fifth Floor/the Brunei Girls. LOL! Have we?? :P

We also won chocolates (as Jack had promised!) & a certificate for winning the "Being the Awesomest & Most Loved By Jack!". Speaking about Jack,it was most disturbing to have seen Jack putting bras on when he did his "Skits of Cumby" w the 4th Floor Boys. He noted, during his visit to our corridor at the end of the night, that it is his tradition to get nuded up on every events of Cumby. Seriously, Jack? Dont :P

What had also happened the past weeks?

1. 
   
   Lem’s Suprise Birthday Party. It went pretty succesfull! Very the Happy I AM! Dragging her out of Cumby was tiresome though! Because I was so so so worried about the time! She thought I was moody. In actuality though, I was just too worried that I might screw it all up! LOL. But in the end, she got surprised when she arrived home with the corridor all decorated up with balloons and Sasa with her Cheese Cake (which is HEAAAAVEEEEENNN~) and Jack who joined the party as well! Thanks to the guests ie. Jack, Sasa & Sylvia :D . And NOT Ang ! :P Since he mis-understood about the time! Grrr :P
2. 
   
   Drunken Kids messing with our microwave, dispenser & board. Few days ago we discovered Jack’s drawing of Simpson (on the board) being sexually assaulted by another cartoon that forced Simpson into giving him a blow-job. EW! Apparently, around 3am that morning, they used our microwave to make noodles and used our plastic cups (which we left outside) as a plate. They then left the dispenser and the microwave all dirty with the ingredients pasted across them. Gah!
3. 
   
   St. Kilda’s / St. Claire’s w Sasa/Jay-Jin/Lem/JaQy. Our actual destination was St. Claire but due to lack of responsibility of the bus driver to have not arrived accordingly, we had to hop on to the bus that led to St. Kilda, which turned out to be the beach we went during our night out in Cumby (the one in my FB’s album)! It was so so so so much more beautiful in the morning. The fresh air especially. And I couldn’t understand to point of going to St. Kilda since we wanted St. Claire but in the end, it turned out the St. Kilda is a joint beach to St. Claire. The walk went about 15-20 mins but we enjoyed it as the cool breeze rushed into our faces. We took our shoes & socks to feel the sand beneath our feet. Outcome? NOT RECOMMENDED! I went FREEZING to death! HONESTLY. Definitely not Bruneian beach. If you’re still hard on thinking that it IS like Bruneian beach, it may be so then but with a mobile, floating & invisible Air-Conditioner walking with you.

More stories, next time :) , InsyaAllah!

This week will be sooooooooo busy and I’m really being home-sick right now but I must resist this feeling now and hence, not in the mood to write about that esp about family & Zainul. It would hurt a LOT.

I have a test coming up this Saturday and the finals in 2-3 weeks. Full of practical works as well, starting tomorrow and a lot lot lot lot of thinkings to do. Plus, Jack’s Birthday is on Friday but we’re gonna give him a surprise party on Sat after the whole hustle bustle of HUBS test are done! Estimate budget (from myself alone that is) to contribute into his birthday = $15-$20. $20 is really the best I can pull off but looking at the price of the cake itself, it might not even be more than $15 :D . So anyways, busy week ahead, wish meee luck! :D

Love Life, Love Everyone.
Gotta study! See y’all!