WISH ME LUCK >______<

On a short break atm.Today was a hard day. Seriously.

Was stressed out, preparing for tmorow's Chem.
And without my loved ones by my side... I never know how I can handle it.

Because they cheer me up :) . And today, it was them:

taken today :) . Haha.. cali bah diorang tadi.. And I'm gna miss them.

as well as this.......

"Even if i cant help you out at chem my best wishes still goes out to you to SUCCEED."

The fact that I care.

For the past weekends, I've been busy going through my chem studies. God! I can't imagine how relieved I would be after P2 on wednesday!! It's like... another burden would fall. Indeed, there has been many burdens I carry along with me these days... No... not pleasant at all.

And when I'm in that sort of trouble, I'd lock myself in my own tiny world and think of a way to get through it. Some may succeed and some don't. Either way, I seek help from God... and after I get stronger, my problem ends.

Anyways, the whole Otago dream came to an end :( Apparently... applications will NEVER be opened (AS HOW IT IS SAID AT THE NOTICE BOARD) because it ended like last week!!!!! When I went to the HEU, the lady thought it was odd that I didn't know anything about the Otago applications 'cause I got AAB for me mocks. Then I told her I was in BE and about my crazily complicated situation. *Sigh... I wish ... I WISHHH I COULD HAVE COME TO MD/BRUNEI EARLIER! AS IN LAST YEAR!! AND LEAD ATLEAST A NORMAL ALEVEL COURSE AND GET THE SCHOLARSHIP EASIER!!! :(

But ofcourse, with this sort of problem ie. the reason behind it (yg pasal my college di KL), I can only accept it and deal with it by working extra EXTRA hard. So no, I'm not giving up YET!

Lol, ofcourse, with big dream comes BIGGER COMMITMENT, no? Duhh :P

Tapi that Otago plan.... I guess it's done with. Maybe ada hikmah disebaliknya :) as my friend would say. Maybe I'm just not meant for it. Lol, shout out with Rick "DESTINY!!" .. :P Ah-neh-wayss.. I've hurt a friend a 2-3 days ago. Sorry. And as I said, bergaul di sini lain daripada what I've experienced before. Just different... 'cause I talk differently. The major reason: my malay alum perfect. Banyak org tagur sudah, even today, man (grr.. fahim!! :P). So my jokes, at times, won't dissolve well into ppl's head. So to ppl, sorry brabis if I've offended you in any way. I'm working on it. Especially my malay (you can check how aku bnyk kn cakap brunei sudah ni compared to my previous blog). So hehe... sorry.

K to Nisah! (Miss Nishish): I HAD A FEELING THAT Wu Chun's voice was dubbed in that movie!! But seriously, he'd be charming with the dubbing voice.... very dalam suaranya .. nice eh. I wonder how his real voice would sound like! Anyways, let's hang out, have lunch together ^________________^ hehe.

not over yet.

*sigh. i dont feel much pleased...... with the overall effort i put into my P6 paper today. suicidal... that's the sh*t i'm going through now.

nnnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaawww~!! Bwahahahahaha just a joke there!!!! hahahahaha. it'd take me forever to feel that way!!! :P . i just feel that my blog is in lack of emo confessions here~ unlike how most teenagers put into theirs... be it about their *oh-my-gosh-i-live-in-hell* lifestyle or their passion for monkey love!

Speaking about that... I don't know hmm. I don't believe in love anymore. I was having a pleasant chat with one of my more "experienced" friends who is at the edge of her 20s.... "When we are still young to know completely what life is all about, we consider an attraction towards a guy as LOVE. And only later in our years, do we know that.... that was never love." I agreed to her. My response: Infatuation, is it then? Frankly, I am still inexperienced so I know well how stupid I still can be when I am attracted to a guy and think it's all "love is all around you" (la la laaa~) . Hahaha. So there you go, a little emo-ish stuff from me!! *gasp!* hehehe.

Otago, NZ. They offer medicine and biomedical sci. programs. Plus, MOE is giving away scholarships of Otago to leave in 2009! And application is in one month time. So I'm thinking... should I apply for it? Parents have agreed. A brief one at that, though. But I still wish to go for Aussie or UK 'cause my relatives are concentrated (not diluted :P ) over those areas. Antah eh... maybe I'll just take the propectus before going to any rash decisions (like I always do).

Anyways, I'm off to study my chem. Big day for it is in 6 days time and I can feel my legs shaking in fear (nt for a dance!). Wish me Luck... 'cause you know how I love that ;) .

"I'm Glad I'm A Man" as he say..

The poem followed is written by a special friend. Though it is probably sexist..... sorry, scratch that.. Though it IS sexist (hahaha), it's still hilarious! =D so I thought I'd like to put it up here (it's been with me for awhile) !! Beware.....not recommended for those who are prone to heart attacks and those who are pregnant.

I'm Glad I'm a Man

I'm glad I'm a man, you better believe.

I don't live off of yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese.

I don't bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts.

I can get where I want to - north, south, east or west.

I don't get wasted after only 2 beers,

and when I do drink I don't end up in tears.

I won't spend hours deciding what to wear.

I spend 5 minutes max fixing my hair.

And I don't go around checking my reflection

in everything shiny from every direction.

I don't whine in public and make us leave early,

and when you ask why get all bitter and surly.

I'm glad I'm a man, I'm so glad I could sing.

I don't have to sit around waiting for that ring.

I don't gossip about friends or stab them in the back.

I don't carry our differences into the sack.

I'll never go psycho and threaten to kill you

or think every guy out there's trying to steal you.

I'm rational, reasonable, and logical too.

I know what the time is and I know what to do.

And I honestly think its a privilege for me

to have these two balls and stand when I pee.

I live to watch sports and play all sorts of ball.

It's more fun than dealing with women after all.

I won't cry if you say it's not going to work.

I won't reamin bitter and call you a jerk.

Fell free to use me for immediate pleasure.

I won't assume it's permanent by any measure.

Yes, I'm so very glad I'm a man, you see.

I'm glad I'm not capable of child delivery.

I don't get all bitchy every 28 days.

I'm glad that my gener gets me a much bigger raise.

I'm a man by chance and I'm thankful it's true.

I'm so glad I'm a man and not a woman like you!

wonderful, no? HAHAHAHA. He is, however, talented ... v. talented =)

The Butterfly Lovers

"I know you.. from Once Upon a Dream....."

Most recently, I watched the Butterfly Lovers. Honestly, I totally underestimated it. I always judge movies by their titles and I thought the name sounded a bit too common for my taste :P . Thought it was the low-quality, lame kind of movie aswell. However, once in the cinema... was totally embarassed by the stupid presumption I made and it was evidently pulling you into the story right from the beginning!

It's about destiny, how they've been destined to love each other right from when they were born , having dreams of each other. Sweet brabis.

The Wu Zun .

And the actor playing in this movie isssss...~ the HANDSOME bruneian Wu ZUN !!! I NEVER GOT TO KNOW THAT HE'S ACTUALLY A BRUNEIAN UNTIL YESTERDAY!! MY GOD!!! THAT's A MAJOR DOUBLE HOT *waving fingers* YUM!!!! I MEAN TO YOU!! NOT TO ME..! CAUSE HE'S NOT MY TYPE!! :P AND HE'S BRUNEIAN SOME MORE!! The female actress is also beautiful.. tapi ya.. ok2 saja lah.. hahaa~

The Lead actress cross-dressing as a male student.

NOW THIS IS MY TYPE !! I DONT KNOW WHY!! I PREFER HIM MORE THAN WU ZUN (rightbefore he got obsessive though) ! AND IT'S SUCH A COINCIDENCE HOW I FANCY THE BAD GUYS MORE THAN THE HEROES~ HMMMMM.

Okay, and thennn~ I just researched him and discoveredddd that HE IS THE BRUNEIAN DUDE WHO GOT INTO FARENHEIT AND WHOM YUM HAVE BEEN TRYING TO PROMOTE TO ME SINCE GOD KNOWS WHEN!!! AND I SERIOUSLY REGRET NOT BEING INTERESTED IN IT!

RIGHTOoO~ ONE THING I LOVE ABOUT THE MOVIE: FIGHTING SCENES WERE DAMN COOL, MAN! Seriously.. they were all good. Bigger cinematic screen gave me an advantage to watch it even better :D . I am so proud how Wu Zun can move like that! COOOOOOL BRABIS!

And then I researched more about the story behind this movie.. Rupa2nya .. the story of Butterfly Lovers was made like a very long ago.. a classic composition, a legend. No wonder, I found some scenes to have been "ancient".

And also the ending.............

Me: "Af.. ko tau apa artinya 'STUPID'?"

Afnie: "Apa?"

Me: "TU NAH .. ENDINGNYA AH!"

Ok, sorry for the spoiler. Hahaha.. tapi not MY kind sajaa! I think it'd be the majority's love though.. Ehehehe.. so no worries aight ;) movie is STILLLLLLLLLL spleendddidd! WATCH IT PEOPLE, SUPPORT SI WU ZUN! I heard he was at Empire early this week and was allowing people to meet him there... people who have the tickets to his movie saja :P . DAMN! OPPORTUNITY LIKE THIS IS LIKE .. bleee. Kalau si Yumni, mati2an kali kan k Empire tu~ .. haha .. she doesn't like to miss this kind of opportunity (meeting celebrities) !

Ti Amo by 炎亞綸 & 劉力揚:

Ok, the first part was an okay but if you reach its chorus, right when Jade starts singing 'Ti Amoo Ti Quiero~', the song just give chills all over me! She's really TALENTED . So nice her voice laa. M falling for her :P Liu Li Yang/Jade~ :) ! Even the kids love it!

Chemistry Practical

"Jah.. sihat usulnya jerawat mu atu, jah"

So far no one have commented like that :P . I can imagine them saying it though! HAHAHA kalau ada, abis ku tarik spendednya!!! Tapi er.. they did say other stuff like "Eh bisai eh.. masak jerawatnya aah!" . And yes, another jerawat have established on my face and guess where!! OH YOU KNOW WHERE!!! YES, YUM! THAT IS WHERE!!

Anyways, I was the only LOWER SIX STUDENT today. Ehehe, Cool pulang. I got to talk to the U6 students. Fahim especially. Then there was that Mr. Doodey's friend, Syu'aib. My god, beautiful name right!!!! (respect man... nama nabi, as they say) Hahaha .. nicknamenya syubu tapi .. which er.. haha.. m not a big fan of ;P

Practical Exam was .. uh.. let's just say, HECTIC.

First question was on titration but I wasn't allowed to do that first and I think that's a good thing, cause the Second question was soooo... UNFAMILIAR. Langsung new to me!! Drawing up the boxes for the results were good though ;) I've been worrying most about that and thank god, I got through it!

Results achieved from the second practical was also done well! Woohoo! As in checking for its accuracy was ALL good . tapi the calculation, I assume, was furked up. wait.. lemme just recall banar2... Ah... wait.. not so furked up. Phew But you know.. I can be wrong ;( 'cause practical stuff is reaaaaaaaaaaaally unpredictable.

Third question was slightly crappy but I got the results correctly but the part where we had to work out the chemical properties of the two cations... I think.. i THINK I may have got one part of it wrong. Then they asked..

"A gas is evolved in this reaction:

Hydrogen, Carbon Dioxide OR Oxygen.

According to its density, which gas should be approriately tested first and explain the reason to your answer"

At the first 2 minutes, I was panicking like shit. And this was the very time when I dropped the FA5 powder onto my answer paper :( . So the whole thing became VERY VERY messy. So anyways, I finally thought it through and decided to work out each of the gases' density (I assumed that's how we work it out ATLEAST!! haha.. I CAN'T REMEMBER !) . Worked out that Hydrogen is most densed one and the Carbon Dioxide, least densed (that is if my method was even correct!! HAHA) . And after thinking it through over n over, I finally decided to depend on this answer: Since Hydrogen is one with the highest density amongst the three gases, this gas would escape the fastest. Hence, it should be the first one to be tested.

It does sound pretty logical, no? But frankly, I have no idea if that is even true. If it is, I'd name the method "PIJAH PUNYA METHOD" :P . Hopefully it is anyway........ ARGH! Then it was also continued with further box-drawings and identities! EEE~ and I think I got through them well. And... the last part... well yeah, I missed it.

It's a stupid thing to have missed the 3marks question 'cause... it was something that I could have made up so easily even without doing the experiment!! AND I STUPIDLY LEFT THE QUESTION 1 MINUTE PRIOR TO THE END OF EXAM! OH Well, there goes those 3 easy marks!!

First question was titration. Been practising on its sort of question (very common from the past papers) for the whole 2 weeks and I...... screwed it all up. That dissapoints me truly .. I may have got the whole readings correctly. But the calculations bit were all.. furked up. Wait wait.. lemme recall... yep, FURKkkKkkeD Up!

But now thinking all of it thoroughly, I was satisfied with my whole effort and hopefully I'd get atleast better now =) ..well.. despite the fact that my answer sheet is all messy and very dirty from the FA5 powder and also the fact that it nearly got burnt. Imagine if it DID get burn! the whole class would be in a massacre! hahahaha!

I am also very proud of myself that no breaking sound can be heard from my table :P (I always manage to break something during a practical).. Thank God I didn't. I KNOW I'M CLUMSY.

But I did get burnt .. (part of my arm is blackened) by the blue flame at the very end of the experiment. I didn't care if it hurt or not because I was worried about EVERYTHING . hahaha. And now, it leaves another beautiful scar on my arm . WANNA SEE :P However cool it is (GILA KALI).. I still prefer my former scar (from MIGS) caused by the strong Sulphuric Acid which lead to this heart shape on my arm.. I admired it for many weeks :) (CONFIRM GILA ANAK NI HAHAHA)

Right, sorry for the boring crap. It helps me to release tension :) . I am just brainstorming here. So, you know .. dont force yourself to go through all :P hahaha.

Confidence...

"Believe that you can do it and only then, you can be calm....."

A wise man (boy in the outside :P) said that to me this afternoon. He's a one funny guy. Most of his words are wise and honest (something that's rare to find in guys of his age... seriously). He's sensitive, though..... But I know how most of the women are crazed for that sort of thing. HAHAHA.

4.30 was ze tuition... and I realised how I have lost my confidence in doing any practicals. Partly because experiences were not much... and that many grave mistakes were done during the June Paper that caused me the reasonable C . Hence, the words were given to me up there.And I think I'm feeling a lot better. Those were the words I myself used to say, but I dont know where that part of me went........

Or probably I've been refusing to think anything......

I better get prepared. Exams are incredibly scary. AND IT effin ANNOYS ME BIG TIME WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THAT "WE DO NOT NEED LUCKS IN OUR EXAMS .. SO GOOD LUCKS ARE NOT NECESSARY! BECAUSE EXAMS DEPEND ON OUR PAST EFFORT AND ONLY THAT!"

To those who have one mind with this person, I just feel like digging some soils up to feed you with it. EXAMS STILL NEED LUCK! WHAT IF YOU HAVE PANIC ATTACK?? OR THE 'MENTAL BLOCK'?? WHAT IF YOU HAVE THE WORST KIND OF INVIGILATORS (PRACTICALS CASES) ? WHAT IF YOU ENCOUNTER LACK OF CONFIDENCE ??

Also, we get encouraged when friends shout out their 'goodlucks' to us. It prevents us from thinking any bad lucks (as mentioned) that can occur to us. We feel more calmed and enligthened from any pressure we get. And that is how supports from the loved ones are VERY IMPORTANT.

All that said, I wish GOODLUCK to everyone for their upcoming exams ;) .

PS. Time for a late shower :P

awu .. lurus2 .. wajib dberitahu. LOL