Blow Me Away.

to those who still linger in the blog, i've moved :P .... like centuries ago (exaggeration much):

www.msfaezaha.wordpress.com

I am NEVER EVER staying at Belait Hospital. EVER!

I've been busy. There's always work to do whenever I try to get some rest. But I'm not complaining :D because at least boredom is out of my list of problems! Right now, for instance, I'm accompanying my mum making a huge batch of ikan kari spesiaaaal for Tg. Dulah's return from Hajj (although i'm not really much of a help really). I don't think I've been to such occasion before so hopefully, it'd be an experience. yahoo! gonna meet nini as well :D whom i've missed so much. hehe.

Anyways, Hamdi just returned from his yet another on-call night at Belait's laboratory. and with his return came another story of ghost! experienced by Kiman (our driver). Hahaha. last week, I was FORCED to tag along Hamdi since it's dangerous for him to be alone. Apparently all other lab on-callers have been doing the same except they bring their friends or brothers over to the lab and hangout. Fortunately (for hamdi), he had ME. ME ME ME ME ME MEMEMEME!Gahh~ I couldn't understand the reason to why my being would help but in the end, I was successfully persuaded...... and in much further end, I understood why.

My experience wasn't very much of an experience... but it was DEFINITELY something and DEFINITELY a first! So it was 11pm. I was lying on the on-call bed and Hamdi on the floor. I couldn't sleep because new environment doesn't work out well for me. I read all the do'a already. And so... with my eyes shut and my brain asking me politely to sleep, I was concious of my surroundings ESPECIALLY my ears. So I started hearing children playing and talking loudly against the wall next to mine. And for few minutes, I was relieved to hear people nearby. Until... I heard HEAVY footsteps coming from the lab as if someone was running or geting chased by another person followed by children's laughter. And I thot, shit.. shit.. shit.. there's only me and Hamdi in this lab. It's just impossible impossible impossible impossible. I also heard the machines going wild... unusally noisy than it previously was. But I tried to think rationally that it functions differently during the night. Conclusion? Slept at 2.

The next day, I decided to confront Hamdi. And ONLY THEN did he start telling me the truth about the place, the fact that a lot of the workers beside Hamdi himself experienced things... like a hot nurse walking by with an old uniform who was heading to a dead-end, children laughters everywhere, curtains flicking etc etc.

And I told Hamdi that I heard people beside the wall. And guess what he said? That place has been empty for many years. It used to be the pediatrics department and now, there's just nothing against the wall, like a space to another building, a building where bodies are kept. Faloi eh Faloi. And then I asked about the machines if it has some sort of NIGHT mode and ofcourse.... there's just no... such... thing.

Anyways, Kiman's story is different. He actually confronted with it. Not a story to share in a blog! HAHA.

Gottago!

I am loving my days.

What happened there? I was able to go online through the hospital’s connection for a moment or two. Darn the depressingly low reception! But truth is, I don’t mind. I’ve got myself a new book to read: Remember Me (the previous reading was an average: getting rid of matthew) and a series to watch: DROP DEAD DIVA. Yahoo me! :)

As all may know, I’ve been hanging around the hospital almost all day for the past week and I’m not complaining because this place has always been like a second home to me (well, to papa mostly) and hanging out with mama and papa is something I adore anyway! Today is quite relaxing though because I only left home at 1:30pm as papa had been given a half day off considering that it’s Friday.

He said he doesn’t really need it though because he’s grown attached to the exclusive room. “At home, I don’t really having anything do anyway,” said he to the nurse. “This room is already pretty much enough for me. I have my laptop so I can do my work and since there aren’t many visitors [not a lot of people know that my dad is admitted yet again], it’s just like a peaceful home to me except for the treatment of course. Nganya nada printer. Payah kan print!” Hahaha man, he’s so cute. I love that he’s striving really hard to survive the cancer that’s been going on for the past 3 years and plus. His spirit is just inspirational! Go daddy!

Leaving in 3 months…. Shoot, don’t think about it Jah. Leave the thoughts. Leave the thoughts. Leave the thoughts. Left ‘em.

So I’ve been driving! Yes, be jealous! And yesterday when I came to the hospital after a little trip to the MOE and Ideal (for lunch) with Tangah, I confessed to Mama, “Ma, aku kan buat pengakuan arah mama.” [oh, my terrible Malay!]
“Ah, maxudnya?”
“Err… pengakuan = confession kan ma?”
“……….. sekali?”
“ Tadi aku drive.”
*big eyes* “Haaaaahhhhh Sama si kiman tapinya kan? Sama tangah kah?”
“….. err…”
“Inda eh, bukan sama aku,” said Tangah.

“Aku sorang, ma HEHEHE *with a smile as big as a cow’s buttocks*. Aku aga sengkurong and then aga pertama ampir rumah. EHEHEHE”
*eyes popped out from shock* “Ahhhhhhh.. ampun ku Jah, sampai hati mu jah nagnagnagnagnagnag”

“Eh, inda apa tuu. Biar tia ya blajar bah Ni. Sampai bila tah kan ya bedangan draibing ani. Aku menyuruh ya tadi pagi tu. Inda apa, asal saja na jauh,” explained Tangah. Mama stared at Tangah with her mouth opened.
“Inda, Inda. Si pijah na boleh” said Mama. “Tunggu ya tuha dulu barutah!”

Whaat! Oh my, my license would expire by then. So I replied, “Ahhh? Tuha? Boh, si kiman pun na sanggup kn dangankan aku setiap hari smpai tuha tu eh”
”26 tahun!”
“26 tahunnnnn???” I asked in disbelief.
“awu! 26 tahun!”
“Yang lain inda jua sampai 26 tahun. Kaka, Si yum, ramzi, hamdi??”
“Pasal. Kau. CLUMSY!”
“…………………………. Ok. True.”

I still don’t understand why it has to be 26 though? So does that mean like after 26, on the 4th of July, I will no longer be clumsy??? Haha. I don’t know how she could come up with 26. Honestly. She’s also been nagging me 24 hours. But that’s typical of mama. Sometimes, it can drive me crazy but really, I only look at her intention and heart, never at her tone. Those are the only things that matter. And one thing about her is that she CAN’T STOP CLEANING. My dad’s been complaining about it as well: “Kami baru ja sampai rah bilik ah. Mamamu pusing2 tah tu. Cuci atu, cuci ani. Ambil atu, ambil ani. Aga sana, Aga sini. Padahal bilik atu kana cuci dah uleh pembersih yg baru masuk ah. Mata ku pusing2 bah mliat mama mu ani. Paning pala tarus. Cubatah duduk dulu, beceta2 dulu. Panyap, panyap, panyap. Bila tah kn beceta2 sama aku? Nada bah ;( ”

HAHAHA. I laughed so hard. My dad was always trying to get her attention by various ways whenever she does her stuff, cleaning here and there (which is like… every 2-3 minutes “-_-). It hardly leads to any success though. Haha they’re so cute together. Seriously, they’ve given me so much smiles and laughter..

Anyways, so yesterday I drove home at night. Yay! My first time driving during the night and I tell you, Kiman’s been quiet next to me. No more “Jah liat cermin, Jah.” or “Signal dulu” or “Pelan aja jah” or “Ehhh.. jangan gitu!!!” or “Pinggir sikit Jah. Jangan terlalu deket” or “AWAS!” “HATI-HATI JAH!” Yahoo! That’s a good sign! So I’ve been better. He never complimented anything though but I know myself better so I don’t really bother to hear any. MWAHAHA, self-centred much.

Okay, gottago and watch DROP DEAD DIVA. Watch it if you haven't! As it is, I rarely watch english series but this one is quite the drama, I have to say :)

A weather not to celebrate for.

So it's my fourth day here (back in Brunei) and life's already pretty much eventful. I seriously.. just so seriously can't stand being bored for even a minute or two. That said, if anyone has any business that needs some sort of assistance, i'm almost available 24 hours. Just text me up :)

i did apply at a tuition school. it took some guts though (don't ask why) but i'm all up for it and the whole application is done. now, interview is all there is left to it. i've been at the hospital for the past three days.

my daddy is really sick and i feel sorry to see him suffering. if any of you were to see what i've seen, you would understand the sadness such cancer can bring. it's just all painful to watch let alone feel... but i'm both amazed and inspired by his strength. how the hell can he endure all this and still be smiling and joking. his will power to live is so strong that giving up is never an option even though he had gone through so much pain at this stage. so. much. pain. I pray that he will no longer be in any pain. Amin.

i'm wow'ed by how quickly the time has flown by. it felt only yesterday that i arrived in brunei, picked up by my sister and got some serious beating by mum for giving her a huge surprise. and for that, i'm scared.

all this is just too familiar. every year i used to go back to brunei for a brief holiday of 1 month or less. and all of 'em would pas by like nothing you know? like a dream or something. and the hurtful bit is that you get attached to this place within that short moment and at the end of it, it's just so painful to leave it... and I happen to feel and suffer through this every year.

*sigh. i am still not prepared to leave Brunei. no, not again.

so no, i'm not really celebrating anything.

i'm just too scared for it.

I needed the fresh air.

It's only my first day of holiday and I'm already bored T_____T . Okay, I may not have been a total study-holic but I did enjoy having a bit of pressure from the studies 'cause you know, atleast there's something to challenge yourself with! I know right! Farah and Zureen was like 0___O when I said this. hahahaha!

Anyways, had a little bit of shopping spree and spent an enormous amount of money: $120 for well.. a lot of things. "-_- i bought some clothes for some people and some stationary stuff for the nieces and some food/medicine at NW. Oh no, I also have to pay an extra $40 for Cumby's jersey and the whole school photo (deliberately tho)! I am not proud ;( I should be saving up for my hand therapy. I'll be better, I promise. but I was amazed to see my account book all empty for this month :) Alhamdulillah.

Oh yea, throughout the whole outing, me and lem did a little VLOG-ing. hahaha, i gave my camera a thorough look-see of Cumby and some parts of the town as if we were some sort of tourists. Atleast I enjoyed it :) .

Lem & I had just finished watching 10,000 BC and it was quite goooood :) . I enjoyed it and the adventure it brought us into. I really think Lem over-enjoyed it tho :P :P :P ! Seriously, she couldn't stop SCREAMING (even tho there wasn't any ghosts..... or anything to scream about?) or going all "OMG! SO CUTEEEE! HENSEM EH.. OMG OMG OMG" . My ears died. Seriously.

Nada wa lem :) . Anyways, don't be surprised that I'm back because I AM (to clear out all the dust in the blog!) but I wont be bothered with pictures so don't expect any. All writing! I SWEAR! :P hehehe but hopefully nothing depressing. I promise I won't write about HUBS for the third time..................... speaking of HUBS, I really sincerely hope I will be fine. Ya Allah, mudah2an saja. Man seriously if ada second chance, I pro-- .. oh yea, no HUBS talk. FINE ;( ! haha

Ok, I love you all :)

FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOOM!

My exams are officially done.

but i feel rather insecure. my HUBS... oh HUBS.

Ya Allah.

I am dreading the finals.

Not much I can say...

HUBS did not go well. I am dissapointed.... with 2nd sem. 1st sem was all good you know: I wasn't very commited to my studies, I even slept in lectures MOST of the time... but the determination and the skills to cope with last-minute studies and revision were there. Even tho I commented the exam as only an "okay"... I was confident atleast to get the marks I needed and I got A which really made me proud. honestly.

but this time round, i knew it wasn't an A at all. Heck, if it's a B.. I'd be surprised. It was THAT bad... even before the exam, I had seen it already. The way I studies this sem had many faults in them and what made it worst was the fact that I had grown lazier... 1st sem was lazy enough but like I said, I got through with the right skills. Atleast that's what I think. Hence, the my grades have degraded in HUBS. Hopefully not a C, tho. How unfortunate that this is only the beginning of the finals ;( . a... bad sign... indeed.

InsyaAllah. I'll TRY harder (maybe.. i just can't trust myself anymore) for biochem.

InsyaAllah la....

man, i just wish i can blame you for everything.

but ofcourse, my studies is my responsibility. no one else's.

so i know everything is my fault. haih... "--_____-- ..

hopefully, it's a B. Amin.